Kay Dean Posts

Can anyone tell me why Kay Deans posts appear to be deleted ? She started a happy birthday thread off this morning for me when i went to check it had gone but everyone elses posts was there ??????

dont understand this, i saw this myself this morning to but now it looks like andy spirit started the post when infact kay started it how do posts just disapear

I was wondering that, as she said it had been deleted but it was not her. Hope no one is copying people

it was me i didn't like the content

Pete Moore wrote:

it was me i didn't like the content

i'm very confused by this pete, what was there not to like, from what i could see it was inoffencive & just a birthday wish... if ive missed somthing please elaborate... b.t.w. why didnt you move the said post to the mods section

i will own up sue and i have had a run in with kay she tried to spread gossip that i had left sue for someone else and moved to porthcawl to be with her she even told sue not very happy with her at the moment i was wrong to delete her post and i am sorry for using this forum to get back at here this is a gross miss use of my moderator status i will quite understand if you want me to stand down because of this . pete

I'm Still not understanding fully Pete , you see a complaint was made by kay that her posts keep getting deleted and she suspected you was deleting them , i was very defensive and was sticking up for you, so i checked the log file that basically records everything anyone does member or mods or admin, upon checking i checked as far back as december 2009 i could go further back but saw you was deleting her posts backt o december. Firstly this comprimises the forum and the mods that moderate it. We say where like one big happy familly and theres no underhand stuff goes on here. But then i find your letting your personal life and personal matters get in the way of what we do on her and infact using your position on here to fuel your problems. If things between you and Kay are so bad why did you not talk about it on here we could have done something to help out ?

I notice you have removed Kays second birthday post to me i saw it as many others did and there was nothing wrong with it , infact its the same as she posted on facebook. We all work hard to make this forum a success and just taking matters into your own hands and letting personal issue cloud what you do on here just puts the forum and its members down. I don't check the log files on here to see what the mods are doing because i trust that all mods stick to the rules ie removing posts gets copied to the mods section etc etc.

I have to say at this point i don't like what i'm seeing and the position it puts me in and i am deeply gutted and upset at what i'm seeing. Its not just a mods job its a friendship thing, you know how me and lorna feel about you pete and sue but i just feel the position you have put us in i just don't know where to go from this ?

Pete, i am glad you came forward, to say what is going on.
You know, we are always here for one and an other, and everything that gets discussed here (at the mods topic) will stay here, unless we made an agreement to bring it out in the open.
I agree with Paul, that you should have told us about it, we could had try'd to help you with this issue (somehow or an other).
But it is not wise to talk about should have, or could have.
It should be clear that the forum should be a happy bunch (with a laugh and a tear) we are like a family. And we should try to keep it that way.
I understand that you are hurt and upsad with Kay, she has no right butting in to youre private live and i understand you are angry with her.
We have to try to figer out what we can do to make this work.
and i hope you trust us enough that you can lay youre problems here.
There is ofcourse some disapointments here, becourse we do try to do our best to make this a good, stable and happy browser.
We have to trust eachother, and today is a brand new day.
Again, i am happy that you told us now, it is never to late.

Has took me a long time to post as Im not sure what to say really. I do feel for you Pete, seems like your under a lot of pressure at the moment and maybe not thinking clearly but I still dont really understand why you would delete Paul's birthday message. I know its to do with Kay but I mean if she had even mentioned your name I could see why you would want anything relating to you or Sue written by Kay off the forum, but it wasnt in this case.
If you had told us about Kay, even if you just told us to watch out for her coz she is causing a bit of hassle, without going into anything, you know we would have had your back straight off but we are kinda in the middle now. Personally for me I see it as a pull between friendship and moderating. Obviously we want to stick with you as you are our friend but in another way a member has been mistreated I.E posts being removed for no reason.
Surprisingly I am hurt by this (and this is my personal feelings getting in the way now) but professionally I feel betrayed. If it wasnt pointed out then this would have carried on and we would have been none of the wiser. That is what really makes me sad. We need to trust our mods and I just feel thats been a bit dented at the mo, Im not saying its been broken as we all do stupid things but I dont think it should be taken lightly either. We have to protect our own but we have to protect our members too. I just dont know where we draw the line. My heart is really torn with this one, it really is.

Hi Guys,
I have never met Pete or even e-mailed him so I don't really know him well but isn't it possible this incident was out of character for him?
Before Christmas he stepped down from being a Moderator citing personal reasons which was fair enough, and then he came back on board again later.
But then it kind of sucks a bit for the woman whoo kept getting her posts deleted and I know I would'nt like my post going missing if it was me- especially if it was only a Birthday wish to someone else!
Fair play to Pete though, he admitted he had abused his Mod postition- and is prepared for any consequences.
So with this in mind, and also with his first Resignation before Christmas in mind- that it might be best to let him bow out and advertise for another Mod on the forum.
We could either all Vote on wether to replace Pete or leave the decision to Paul because whatever he thinks is best I know it will be for the good of the Browser and all of the Members.
As was said above, we need to be able to Trust each other 100% and perhaps more importantly the Members need to trust us as well!
Above all, we are doing all our work in ELVIS' name- and sometimes we do it through very difficult circumstances- it would have been good if poor old Pete had kept his personal problems seperate from our work on here- but then again we're all human..........

I dont know what to say Pete. I remember you mentioning something in January about what Kay was like but obviously didnt realise the extent. As I said then about something else is not to play games with other people who are trying to ruin things for you as it looks bad on you aswell. I am glad you have owned up to it but feel you need to sort any personal things out first. We all love you as a friend and mod but would have hoped you could of trusted us enough to tell us or especially Lorna & Paul.

i am pretty dumb struck & dont reallly know what to say with regards this matter. if i had'nt of seen this with my own eye's i would'nt of believed this of pete. but what i want to say in pete's defence is under normal circumstances he is a stand up honest guy, i was talking to him in january & i know at the mo he has a lot of things going on in his life, & the fact that he is pretty much working away from home & away from his familly 24/6 must be pretty hard & quite clearly taking its toll..

Just like to put the record straight here as kay has sent me not a very nice pm from Pete saying you can complain to paul bulmer all you want etc.

To start with Kay didn't complain it was me asking Kay what happend to the happy birthday message as it was showing her as starting the thread but no message from her , it was then and only then she said well my posts keep disappearing and have been for some time and don't understand whats going on and she thought Pete was behind it. I instantly defended pete saying he wouldn't do that. I then checked the log files found out it was pete and he had been doing it for some time. I then posted in here asking who deleted it to see if he was honest enough to own up to it which he was. Theres a few problems i have and only you mods can decide what best way we have in going forward.

1.) All our indivule actions affect the whole team ie the browser reputation you me etc, So the deleted posts we all take it on the chin cause we are a team. Do you really want to be classed as the dodgy mods who delete stuff based on personal issues ?

2.) The rule is if theres something posted that isn't right it gets copied here to discuss, this is a clear rule break what do we do to avoid this happening in the future to protect ourselves ?

3.) We need to trust each other how do we move forward with this ?


Ok you maybe asking why all the questions etc well its simple i need your help, i am so emotonal over this and it has hurt me and my mind is all over the place, i feel like i have been betrayed, feel like i'm a laugh stock and somehow feel like it all lands on my shoulders , and finally I thought pete was a trusted friend and now i just feel oh no not again hassle someone has gone behind our backs for there own gain. I am guilty of wearing my heart on my sleeve and thats why i ask you for your opinions call it a type of theropy if you like lol.

Paul i think it is good to discuse this.
I would like for Pete to answer too, sins it involves him.
I agree with everything that will need action in the browser, that we discuse it here (the reasond why you think something is not right etc.).
Also i feel that we are a strong team and doing the best we can, in a friendly kind of matter.
We do need to trust eachother, and i always believe in the good of people (well most people anyway).
I have met Pete in Blackpool, to me he seem a very deasond and friendly guy.
This is a personal isue, witch got everyone from the team involved now.
I understand the anger and frustration from Pete, but as a team, it hurts me to see that the trust of some team members got damaged.
I think it is smart to discuse it here, befor the members will find out (i am afraid they will...) that one of our mods had taking it to far.
It will damage the browser if there will be romours.
We dont want that to happend.
Personaly i am always one for beeing open and honest.
Maybe it is not nice for others to hear the thruth sometimes, but at least you keep youre trust.
We have to find a way, to tell it to the members in a very deasond way.
I am sorry Pete, i realy like you, but we have to make it clear in the browser what was going on, and that we do not like to be asociated to that kind of behavor.
I know, you dint mean to damage us all by youre action.
And i understand, that youre emotions got up realy high and that is very understandeble. I dont know how i would had reacted if somebody try'd to damage my mariage.
But we have to go on, and make the browser a happy browser again.
Paul i do understand, you are hurt, and felt betrailed.
If you stick up for someone you care for, and come to find out, that it is differend than you thought, then it is hard to get over that.
Forgiving works healing.

you have made all your thought's quite clear on this matter and it is clear though my own stupid action's that i have lost the trust of my fellow mod's i will save you all any further upset and trouble and the good name of the browser i will ask paul to remove me as a mod on here . we all have to pay a price for stupid mistakes and it is time i paid up . i would like to thank you all for your help and support you have given me , take care all .

I think for the time being Pete that would be a good idea. Hope you manage to sort things out and we all can still remain friends.

Dear Pete,

We are all human, and there is nobody that dont make mistakes.
I realy hope you dont be a strainger.
To me, you are a browser family member.
I just think it is sad, you went tru, where you had to go tru.
Like i wrote befor, i dont know, how i would have reacted if somebody try'd to damage my mariage.
I realy, realy, realy hope, you and Sue can deal with this.
And if you need anyone to talk to, you know where to find us.
I wish you very good luck on youre gourney, and i also hope that you can sort things out.
Hope you can heal.
Take very good care of youreself and youre family.

PETE, YOU ARE ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS IN THE E.T.A WORLD. & SOME OF THE SHIT THAT YOU AN SUE HAVE HAD TO DEAL WITH OVER THE LAST 12 MONTHS NO ONE SHOULD SUFFER...PERIOD...THERE'S NO POINT IN SAYIN YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE THING DIFFERENT CAUSE IT WOULD BE HYPOCRITICAL OF ME CAUSE IF I'D BEEN IN YOUR SITUATION I DONT KNOW HOW I WOULD HAVE DEALT WITH IT.YOU NEED TO DO WHAT YOU FEEL IS THE BEST FOR YOU & SUE ESPESIALLY WITH YOUR NEW LIFES JOURNEY TO PORTHCAWL. BUT I HOPE YOU DONT LEAVE THE BROWSER FULL STOP. PETE YOU HAVE MY NUMBER AN I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU BOTH IF NEEDED. I HOPE THIS NEXT TWELVE MONTHS IS BETTER FOR YOU BOTH AS YOU ARE A SMASHING COUPLE

The thing is, is that Pete has maned up and confessed, he has also apologised to Kay. This is ultimately what we wanted. Obviously we were a bit gob smacked about it because its so unlike Pete and think we took it a bit personal too as we thought he could have come to us first. However whats done is done. We have no doubt that he wouldnt do this again and know he must have been under a lot of pressure. I dont know the in's and out's with Kay and I dont need to, its none of my business but hope you find peace of mind Pete and we wish you and Sue all the best. We do think an awful lot of you both. It is up to you what you want to do but dont be a stranger either way.

I agree with everyone. Pete hope you and Sue manage to sort things out and wish you all the best, please dont be a stranger.

I want to add, that i also think it is brave of you to apolegize to Kay.
It takes a real man to do that. Like i sayd i dont know how i would have reacted, and i also am not sure if i would had apolegized. I also think, it is up to you, what you would like to do. You know we care about you.

Thanks very much for all your input on this one i'm sure its been abig help to pete as it has me. Where i stand on this one is simple providing pete can assure us this won't happen again and sticks to the mod rules as there there to protect all of us i don't see any reason to resign, we all make mistakes especially when under pressure and i think this has been a learning curve for all of us.

Also pete i hope you can see how much your loved here by your fellow mods and just goes to prove your not alone so if you have things on your mind or just need a friend we are here for you and you have our numbers so only a phone call away.

Its up to you what you want to do and we all repsect your descion just let us know the direction you want to take.

Amen to that Paul!!

thank you all so much for your comments, I feel very humble to have such good friends and would like to stay if you will still have me.
I have learned my lesson well and can assure you my stupidity will not be repeated.
sue and myself are fine and have just returned from spending a week in our new bungalow. we have had to return to the midlands as sue still has to go to work until our house sale is finalised.
i am in the process of obtaining a new laptop as we had a fight who would keep the present one and guess who won, as soon as i manage to squeeze some money out of sue i will be back up and running. god bless you all, Pete

Pete, i am glad you disited to stay! You know you are apreciated!!
And i am sure we all do things, we have to learn from.
I am very happy to read, that you and Sue are doing fine!
If there is anything that we can help you with, we are here for you.
And that counts for all the mods.
I think we have some FANTASTIC people here!!